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Found 1 result

  1. Dearest ADI members, I truly hope you are all well, and staying that way in the midst of this crazy pandemic. I have to tell you, I am disappointed with the news and media sources in the light of the events unfolding around the world. I personally think that this virus is horrible, do not get me wrong, but I think that things have become overly sensationalized in recent days. The common flu causes more deaths annually than this virus has caused, yet we do not cancel sporting events, drop the stock market through the basement, and ban gathering of 250 people or more. I am not 100% sure what is happening, or why this has taken on such an incredibly gigantic pandemic status, but it has. It is serious, I understand and acknowledge that fact, I do. With that though, I think that the masses need to remain calm, take precautions, but also keep your normal life and sense of humor in these difficult, "toilet paper shortage" times. With that, I offer you an invaluable marketing tip in the face of economic adversity. Are you ready? OK, here it is. If you have been to your local "Stuff-Mart" or other "get all your stuff here" store, you have probably run into a TP shortage (which BTW's, I totally don't understand. This is not an intestinal distress virus ... so what gives with people hoarding toilet paper???!!?!?!?! Really?!?!??!) Anyway, alcohol is supposedly one of the things that staves this virus off, and with that, I am about to divulge one of the most masterful marketing ideas to assist in driving your sales in this time of insanity. Ready? Here it is! Yes!!!! This is a marketing strategy to ensure sales in this time of crisis! Take each of your bottles and place a new, unused roll of toilet paper on the neck of your bottle and change your pricing by 50%-100% and watch your product fly off the shelves! Alcohol is supposedly a virus deterrent, and toilet paper is a hot commodity. Partner the two and voilà, instant increase in sales, instant demand, and instant profits. You're welcome!!!! One last piece of advice ... I have also heard that the only known deterrents may also be what are known as "Biological Anxiety Reliefs" a.k.a. BARS, "radioactive unvirus medicine" a.k.a. RUM, and "vaccine official depression killing antigen" a.k.a. VODKA. Keep this in mind, and until next time dear reader ... Stay vigilant (and healthy), Aaron Linden a.k.a. InsuranceMan 2.0!!! (307-752-5961 aaron@roaringforkins.com or insurancman2.0@yahoo.com ********** OBVIOUSLY THIS POST IS ALL IN FUN AND AN ATTEMPT TO KEEP CALM AND LIGHT IN THE FACE OF THESE UNKNOWN TIMES. IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE TO JOKE AND HAVE FUN, EVEN WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH. IN THESE TIMES THE TOUGH KEEP GOING!!! **********
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