At the risk of sounding like over-complicating things, it really depends. I've never worked with grappa, but i know it is congener rich stuff. All those congeners will affect the spirit/water addition. I have heard of brandy and rum being proofed down and married back in the barrel for months as well. It's a good practice, since so much time, energy and work has gone into the product to date. Crashing it out at the last stage is a very real concern. Water quality is another factor: hard, soft, filtered, purified, spring water? All those inherent minerals could play a role.
One good thing to know is there is certainly a proof 'hurdle' of sorts at around 50% abv- 44% abv. I tend to be cautious and pay close attention to 55% abv - 40% range. This threshold is here you are taking the spirit from majority of alcohol to a majority of water. That flip in proof needs to happen slowly, in my opinion.
I hope this helps a little. I have yet to experience grappa, so it really may take some tinkering to find what works best for you. Good luck!