Im at the same place you are and have found that if you visit distilleries just dont come off as an ass. There are a number of ways to do this..... Feel them out and ask appropriate questions. Throw some compliments their way (" I really like how you built your still" or " You really did a good job with this...." etc. ) Buy a few of their bottles, let them know that you are insanely interested in opening a distillery, ask SMART questions that you have researched and cant find the answers to yourself. Say a few smart things so they know you are not just some yahoo or lookyloo. Become familiar enough with the trade through reading/researching that you don't ask stupid questions that could easily be answerable with a bit more research on your part. If they are giving tours, I would assume they have a second to talk business (I like to be the only person there so its one-on-one). I have yet to be given a cold shoulder but have visited distilleries where I didn't ask any questions at all because I felt either they were to busy, the wrong type of person to chat with, or that they were less knowledgeable then myself (like at larger ones when you are dealing with just a server). I've been offered the option to come back during the week and actually help with aspects - perhaps volunteering to sweat for them for a day or so would be a great way to get your foot in the door.
I dont know. Like I said, Im at pretty much the same place as you. The best piece of advice I've got that I still have not followed is to just "jump". You wont be able to fall on your face or land on your feet without first jumping (Take note self...Ha!). Good Luck!